Personal Development

When one of your consistent beliefs is that you are never good enough, you open the door to a lifetime of feeling insecure in relationships, feeling resentful of others, feeling guilty about your own behaviour, feeling afraid of new experiences, and feeling unfulfilled in your life. When you believe that you are never good enough you are not only very critical of yourself; you are also critical of others. The only time you are truly comfortable is when you are alone and even then, your own thoughts about your inadequacies can haunt you. When you believe that you are never good enough you frequently withdraw from others or from opportunities because of low self-esteem. It is a withdrawal out of fear, not out of choice. The fear is that you don’t measure up, that you are not capable, or that others will see all of your flaws and dislike you…

When life gets hard for you, how do you react? Some people become fearful and anxious, some become stoic and determined, some people get angry and blame everyone and everything, others throw up their hands and withdraw, and some people just get stronger and wiser. Each person has a unique and habitual way of responding to the challenges of life. If you don’t like the results you’ve been getting with your usual way of reacting, you can decide to change things. Here is the secret to success in adversity. First, you have to separate your emotions from your behavior. Too often people let their emotions drive their behavior. Then, when the emotional storm finally subsides (and it always does), they see the damage they have done to the people and things around them. Feelings are hurt, relationships are ruined, objects have been destroyed, and time or money has been wasted….

Most of us work long hours in our jobs and are tired at the end of the day and are somewhat protective of our free time so why should we give up our time to do things as a volunteer? There are actually many reasons ranging from practical advantages to more psychologically-based explanations. Volunteering in areas where we have training provides us with a unique, non-routine way to apply our skills for the benefit of others or society at large. This is seen to be both a way to “give back” to society for the privileges we have received through education or training (you don’t think your tuition really pays for your whole education do you?) and it allows us to experience applying our skills in unique and novel settings. In return volunteering can give us greater appreciation of our regular jobs and serve to reinforce the importance of our…

Anger is a powerful emotion. Not only is anger one of the most difficult emotions to manage it is also one of the most dangerous. Anger has the power to wreak havoc in your life. It can ruin important relationships and destroy your physical health and psychological well-being. The uncontrolled expression of anger can cause you to deeply wound those you love; it can result in physical violence and emotional abuse; and the aftermath of anger can leave you feeling ashamed, miserable, and out of control. Angry people are usually viewed by others as being unpredictable, immature, and difficult to be around. While anger expressed outwardly can get you into big trouble, bottled up anger or anger turned inward can be just as risky. Anger is energy and that energy has to go somewhere. Repressed anger can lead to increased heart rate, high blood pressure, irritability, depression, muscle tension, headaches,…

Human beings are creatures of habit. When we are asked to go through a process of change, we don’t always like it and we can get cranky. Most people don’t like to be pushed out of their comfortable and familiar way of doing things even though we know intellectually that change can be positive and necessary, and it can even make things much better. People respond to change in varying ways. Some people thrive on change. They become excited, enthusiastic, find renewed energy, and may eagerly use the opportunity to initiate more change than is really necessary. They are bored when things stay the same for any length of time. Most people though, find the transition from the old way of doing things to the new way stressful, disruptive and exhausting. We all process change differently and while there is no right or wrong way to go through change, understanding…

Too many people are on the go from morning until late at night. Technology hasn’t slowed our lives down or given us more leisure time. Instead, our lives seem to be on fast forward. There’s more to do, we have to be constantly available to others, and we are enjoying our lives less and less. We have to stop wearing ourselves out. Have you ever noticed that when you drive into a graveyard, there’s usually a sign that says, “One Way Traffic Only”? Well, this is the road all of us are on – the road of life that eventually leads to death. Now, knowing with certainty that you’re going to end up dead should cause you to think about two things: how long you want to live and how you want to spend your time on this earth. Unless you take good care of yourself and make sure that…

Making a resolution is an excellent way to initiate a change in your behaviour and to successfully achieve your goals. When you make a resolution, you are envisioning a new reality. You are stating that you want something to be different in your life. But just saying it doesn’t make it so. If you truly want to make a change in your life, you must do more than declare your intent. You must put your will, your effort, and your behaviour behind this declaration. This means you have to think differently and behave differently every day if you want to successfully reach your goals. Here is how you can infuse your weakening resolutions with power to make sure that you get what you want. A resolution is a statement of a goal. Goals that are too big rarely work. If your goal is too big or too complicated, you will…

There is a difference between solitude and loneliness. In solitude, you find a sense of peace and calmness. You feel centered; your life is full and happy. Loneliness, on the other hand, often hurts. You feel empty with a deep longing for connection. Your focus is on searching for something outside of you to relieve the pain and to fill the void. In both solitude and loneliness you are alone. The key difference is how you feel about being with yourself. In solitude you enjoy being with yourself while in loneliness, you don’t know what to do with yourself. When you’re lonely, being alone feels like its not enough. People are different when it comes to enjoying time alone. Introverts often crave alone time. They have rich inner lives, revel in quiet contemplation, and can easily entertain themselves. When given a choice, they will often choose to be alone. Extroverts,…

Most of us remember a time in our youth when we were full of energy and excited to be alive. Everything was new and fresh and interesting. As we get older however, our enthusiasm for life can slowly fade. Tragedies occur, we lose our innocence, people disappoint us or maybe we disappoint ourselves, our bodies age, and life seems to get more difficult. When you live in grayness and misery everyday, you’re missing out on the best of what life has to offer. The ultimate secret is to not only be excited when life is good, but also to be able to hang on to this feeling when the going gets hard. If your excitement for life has slipped away, you can do something about it. You can stimulate your enthusiasm and consciously increase it. Life can be more joyful despite your problems. Here are some ideas to get you…

To live a powerful life you must take responsibility for your life. Now, you might think that you are a very responsible person but listen to this. You can be so busy taking responsibility for everyone and everything that you neglect to take responsibility for yourself. Your energy is centered on others and you overlook what you are doing, or not doing in your own life. If you have taken on so many responsibilities that you have no time or energy to take care of yourself, then your life is out of control. If you feel angry, exhausted, resentful, and bitter, and you think it’s everyone else’s fault, then you are in trouble. You have given up the responsibility that is yours to practice personal leadership in your own life. If you want to live a powerful life, you must accept that the present state of your life is your…